Sleepless in Seattle - Too many Grey's Anatomy Feelings

     Grey's Anatomy is by far my favourite drama programme that has existed in the history of the world ever. It actually (as the title suggests) gives me far too many feelings of all sorts. I would even go as far as saying that the recent season 8 finale has scarred me for life. And to get away from the heartache I feel every time I think of Lexie, (I think I'm crying...) I have began re-watching the show from the very beginning.

Ack I'm crying...

     I do feel however that this was not the best judgement on my part as the heartache caused by Lexie's death (still crying..) has been replaced by countless other things. I have just finished watching Episode 25 of Season 2 and I swear I'm going to have a heart attack if i carry on watching. The Izzie/Denny storyline is just ripping me to shreds. And even though I know what's going to happen I still wish and wish some more for an alternate ending.
     I swear I almost died during that last scene with Izzie stopping his heart (although she could have done it in a more subtle way...) and that whole talk they had just before.. I seriously just cannot contain my feelings. I guess that is the reason for this blog entry. I need to let off a LOT of steam before watching the next two episodes.
   
     And to be perfectly honest it's not really replaced my Lexie heartache, more just added to the never ending pain. When Mark came into a episode a while back I couldn't stop stroking the screen and wanting to scream 'Stop wasting your time on Addison and find Lexie!! Find her and love her before it's too late!!!!!' Which I know won't change the future but my hope that it may change is keeping me sane.
     I actually thought I was over Lexie's death but I was plunged right back into a deep dark pit of sadness when Lexie's sister (who I never bothered to learn the name of) mentioned her to Meredith. Grey's Anatomy is going to be the death of me. I just know it.

Off I go, where I fall, is where I land...

     Soon enough I'm going to reach George's death again and that killed me the first time I saw it. And that was years before I turned full on FanGirl. The next time I watch it I'm sure my grief will be in the Lexie Death region.
     I mean, the first time I saw the season 5 finale I was so upset I had to draw out my pain! (And I am planning on re-drawing this picture as my artistic skills have improved over the last three years) I actually think this is connected to the reason I haven't gotten over Lexie yet. If I draw her death then I should be able to come to terms with her death as I did for George.

     It's not just all the death that's keeping me sleepless in Seattle (did you like that title? I thought it was rather clever..) It's also the heart wrenching love stories and easily shippable characters that are ripping my insides apart.

I'm crying again...

 
    Now I've already mentioned, Izzie and Denny's scenes have killed me already.

     But there's also the failing relationship between Owen and Christina.
 
     And the will they won't they but they will but they won't but oh look they did but oh no she's crying all the time now relationship between Jackson and April.

     Then there's Meredith and Derek's dramatic (to say the least) on and off love affair that I'm sure you'd like to know caused me much heartache during the first season.

     But of course, Lexie and Mark. Mark and Lexie. Sloan and Little Grey. They top the list of the most shippable ships that I ship in the shipping history of shippy ships. I just cannot describe how much I squee at just the thought of some of the scenes I have witnessed between them.

Gifs belong to....

...greysfrasi of tumblr

   
     This scene was the best moment of my shipping life. After months and months of denying their love for each other Lexie finally snaps and tells Mark she loves him.
We await his reply when his girlfriend (who, as Lexie states, is hard to hate) enters the scene and whisks Mark away from Lexie, leaving her alone to bask in her alone-ness.

     That's pretty much the last time they speak before the plane crash. And even then Mark says all the wrong things. He tells her that he loves her too and that he wants to spend his life with her and he wants to start a family with her. He says everything we've (we've as in Lexie and me...) been wanting him to say for yonks. He just says it all at the completely wrong time.
     See, Lexie has been wanting to hear those words for so long that in hearing them she's had her peace and is happy to die while if Mark had said nothing, I'm sure she would have held on long enough for them to save her.
     I'm not trying to turn this into a rant. I know show business. I know the actress felt it was time to leave (and If she's not in a blockbuster movie within a year I propose she is resurrected from the dead).
     The scene was sad. Like, really really really really sad. And after Lexie's death scene (and the other gruesome injuries caused by the crash) all of the hospital scenes seemed incredibly mild and boring.

     My feelings for Lexie are so extreme that any mention of her makes my heart hurt. I've also been listening to The Music Event almost no-stop ever since breaking down in shouts of 'Lexie!!' every time Breathe (2am) comes on (with my father laughing and saying 'I knew you were going to do that!' the first time I did it).

My Lexie Feelings.

     In Conclusion Grey's Anatomy has ruined my life and I just keep letting it. But to cover up all of these depressing pictures of deaths and sad scenes that lead up to deaths here's a picture of when we were happy.

Awwwwww!! <3